Sensuality & Intimacy for Little People and Unique Body Types
Bridging the Gap from Limitations to Fulfilling Your Desires
by Dr. Marylou Naccarato ACS CSE
Board certified clinical sexologist, AASECT Certified sexuality educator, Consultant – Speaker – Life Coach.
Twitter: @DrMarylouCS, #EmbracingOurUniqueBodyTypes
“I accept my body as imperfect.
It gives me breath and gives me life.
What matters most is how I carry myself,
not how my body carries me.”
– Dr. Marylou
My career as a sexuality educator began when I pioneered an individualized sexuality enhancement education program titled “Heighten Your Sensuality and Intimacy.”
This workshop, first presented at Little People of America conference, was designed to meet the unique needs of Little People (ie: dwarfism) and people with disabilities. I introduced creative techniques, sex positions, and a variety of adult devices that are suited to our range of mobility, to achieve optimal fulfillment in sexual expression and pleasure. In addition to little people, I work with all disabilities, medical conditions, and unique body types.
Standing a statuesque 3’11” I draw from my formal education and life experiences as a person of short stature who understands our challenges. Over the years, I have had hundreds consultations with little people and PWD who express their resounding testimonial support and a need for more quality sexuality education. I have also conducted educational sexuality and disability trainings for students and professional clinicians in the fields of sexology, sex therapy, and physical rehabilitation.
I am a lifetime member of Little People of America (LPA), and was the former president of the Kniest SED Group (KSG), a dwarfism organization benefiting persons like myself living with Kniest Syndrome and SED related conditions, and their families.
Skip the Performance!
It is very important to realise that intimacy does not always mean intercourse and orgasm. You can have a very passionate and erotic experience with or without intercourse and/or orgasm either alone or with your partner. Our limited range of mobility offers a wonderful opportunity to dialogue with your partner about what is pleasurable to each other and to discover new ways of giving pleasure. Ultimately, the real sensual experience is the heightened emotional connection and intimate bonding that you create with each other.
One of the most challenging issues for little people is the ability to reach your own genitals without the use of sex toys. This is most prevalent in certain types of short stature. What is most promising is that in my conversations with the hundreds liittle people who could not reach their genitals, a majority felt it that sex was very important. This is so critical, because it tells me that little people do want more satisfaction in their sex life. Masturbation can be achieved for women by using a wand vibrator with a long handle. Men could try a Hummer Male Masturbator with Wand Attachment. They might be able to orgasm lying on their front on the bed and moving their hips up and down on the bed sheet. Otherwise, they can ask someone to place a male sex toy such as a Rends Cyclone R1 on their erection. More can be found on my website: http://drmarylou.com/products. in our chapter here called Assisted Masterbation or on www.PleasureGarden.co.uk.
Not being able to straddle may mean not being able to lay down or sit on top of our partners and whilst with them in bed. My website provides ways to get around this.
What are your Disabilities?
Little people are considered people with disabilities. Like other PWD, many have mild to severe medical complications such as orthopedic issues, malformed bones, spinal stenosis, neuro-muscular issues, arthritis, hearing/vision/speech Impairments, mobility Impairment, and chronic pain.
We also have to manage of motion limitations, mobility issues in hips, arms, legs. Most of us cannot straddle, some have chronic pain, fatigue, constant stages of pain in different parts of body whilst managing daily living (ADL.)
We have to overcome the difficulties and try to ignore or remove environmental and social barriers. There are chapters here on many of these conditions..
One may not feel safe/or or be allowed to express self and what is wanted/desired because of family and/or societal restrictions and acceptance because of our impairment.
We may not be viewed as sexual beings or desired by others. Disability could be depicted in a more normalized sexual way in mainstream media and film to help improve this situation. We can all contribute to create safe spaces of acceptance for PWD of all expression and gender identities. If you are living with a disability, be brave, safe, and have fun!
Here is a cool guide in exploring non-binary gender and sexuality in relation to your range of “male-ness” to “female-ness with gender identity, gender expression, biological sex, and sexual attraction: The Genderbread Person
If you would like to see me in action, I was featured in a mini-doc of my work on WE tv – “Secret Lives of Women.” The two video links are below, or go directly to my website for the radio and tv appearances: http://drmarylou.com/media.html
Video #1 of Dr. Marylou – Sex Educator This portion of the show covers her work as a sex educator including a mini-workshop and review of her favorite toys!
Video #2 of Dr. Marylou – Sex Educator/Living with Short Stature and Her Personal Life
Dwarf Specific Sites
Below, taken in part from http://www.lpaonline.org/dwarfism-support-organizations
are several dwarf specific sites online that may be helpful in understanding the medical issues. This list is not inclusive. I suggest you do a Google search with your type of dwarfism diagnosis and educate yourself on the medical implication of your condition. Little People (LP) are considered people with disabilities (PWD). I will use the two distinctions LP and PWD interchangeably at times since there are so many overlaps that apply to both communities.
Association for Children with Russell-Silver Syndrome, Inc.
National Mucopolysaccharidoses (MPS) Society
Osteogenesis Imperfecta Foundation
Turner Syndrome Society of the United States
Turner’s Syndrome Society of Canada
Morquio Support Group
International Little People Organization Resources
There are many international organizations for Little People. Below is a list from the Little People of America website: http://www.lpaonline.org/dwarfism-support-organizations.
Please email me at: firstname.lastname@example.org if you would like for me to speak at your organization meeting regarding Little People, Disability, Sexuality, Relationships, and Life Strategies. I will design an entertaining individualized Sexuality Education program to meet the needs of your group!
United States Little People Of America – LPA
There are many gadgets and things to help, so check out my website for ideas: http://drmarylou.com/products.html