{"id":45,"date":"2018-04-02T12:28:19","date_gmt":"2018-04-02T12:28:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.School-of-Sex.info\/?page_id=45"},"modified":"2018-04-02T12:28:19","modified_gmt":"2018-04-02T12:28:19","slug":"mental-health","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/www.School-of-Sex.info\/?page_id=45","title":{"rendered":"Mental Health"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u2013 a unique view of depression<\/strong><\/p>\n

by Matt \u2013 service provider with the TLC Trust<\/strong><\/p>\n

We all have mental health. Sometimes this can be good, sometimes mediocre and sometimes our mental health can be absolutely diabolical. When we are also experiencing physical challenges, whether long term or something that has just happened to us that slows us down, this can impact on our mental health and make us feel even more like…. well… I\u2019m sure you have your own word for that feeling.<\/p>\n

A healthy, active sex life will have a positive and energising effect on your mental health and it could be argued that, if this is lacking, it can make you depressed. There are also possible barriers to getting the sex you need \u2013 whether actual (you can\u2019t seem to get laid) or emotional \u2013 you may feel so depressed that you don\u2019t feel attractive\/sexual\/desirable\/don\u2019t have the motivation.<\/p>\n

Depression isn\u2019t the only form of mental ill-health, of course, there are many conditions that can stop us in our tracks but, what I want to look at here is the connection between sex and depression. I think this can be applied to most mental health problems but feel free to let me know what you think.<\/p>\n

Firstly, let me tell you that there is a very close link between depression and anxiety and some conditions, regardless of the actual diagnosis, are often rooted in clinical depression.<\/p>\n

There has been much research into physical touch and the effect this has on the brain. Our brains (don\u2019t panic, I\u2019m only going to skip over the science bit!) produce the happy chemicals for us that keep our moods pretty balanced and this then enables us to carry out daily activities \u2013 it\u2019s the motivator if you like.<\/p>\n

So…. what happens when you go without touch? The body starts to respond by shutting down certain areas of the brain that produce these happy chemicals. Then what happens is we get low, our view of ourselves becomes distorted and we misinterpret why<\/em> we haven\u2019t been touched for so long: \u2018I am ugly, I\u2019m unattractive, I don\u2019t like my body\u2019; \u2018nobody touches me because I\u2019m disabled\u2019 \u2013 the list of self-judgements goes on.<\/p>\n

STOP. Take a moment.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m going to share something with you first, before we look at some solutions, because I think this is really, really important. I am a professional sex worker and a trained therapist. Therapists (counsellors, talking therapists, psychotherapists etc.) are notorious for not self-disclosing and being \u2018the expert\u2019 who appears to be free from ill-health and cannot possibly be as nuts as you feel right now.<\/p>\n

This is so wrong I could giggle myself to the mental health unit.<\/p>\n

Some years ago I experienced a complete mental breakdown, at one point (and this was years after qualifying as a talking therapist) I was in a suicide prevention unit rocking under the table thinking \u2018what the hell happened?\u2019<\/p>\n

Please stay with me because this is about you, not me, but I really want to reach out to your humanness.<\/p>\n

What happened to me is very simple \u2013 I got sick. I am a human being and as such fell ill and my mental health appeared to vanish into the sunset without a trace.<\/p>\n

Now back to you and what I learned from this whole experience. Firstly, we are not perfect, we are sometimes brittle and fragile and secondly, we all need to be held.<\/p>\n

Before I got sick I spent months, literally without seeing a single human being or being touched. There were circumstances that brought this about but also some of it was because I was depressed and didn\u2019t know it.<\/p>\n

Now, I look back and think \u2018thank God that happened because I now really know what I had always thought \u2013 human touch heals\u2019.<\/p>\n

This website (and ebook if you\u2019re reading this via the download) is all about your sexual health, your sexual liberation and is a reflection of your beautiful sexy self. When you are touched in a sensual way, from sensual, erotic massage to a full on shag \u2013 you feel better. This is good, improved mental health. Great. Now \u2013 what if things are the other way around, such as \u2013 what if you\u2019re current mental health is stopping you from accessing sexual services, one night stands, entering into a relationship?<\/p>\n

Do we need to get therapeutic here? Okay, just briefly, yes, sometimes you might need to see your doctor and ask to see a counsellor. Your doctor might suggest a variety of treatments so sure, go with what feels right for you. That\u2019s one way to address this.<\/p>\n

The other way \u2013 which can be used with some medical help if needed \u2013 is to hear what I have just shared with you, reminding yourself that we all <\/em>feel like this sometimes. I call this \u2018embracing what-is\u2019. It is so simple and a bit weird but this can give you a tiny bit of relief.<\/p>\n

I remember seeing a client for a sexual massage a few years ago and he introduced himself as \u2018Hi I\u2019m disabled so I\u2019ve never been touched\u2019. My heart sank with sadness. The gentleman got onto my massage table (with some assistance and a hoist) and as I gently stroked his thigh he burst into tears. I climbed onto the table with him and held him. Then something wonderful happened \u2013 he became almost euphoric and said something along the lines of \u2018Flipping heck I feel great\u2019.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve slightly changed some details to respect confidentiality but the lesson for us all is plain \u2013 physical touch enables happiness. The rest? It\u2019s all an illusion dear friend.<\/p>\n

Illusions \u2013 fake views of ourselves, putting ourselves down, judging our bodies etc. are simply distractions talking us away from our happiness. Depression is just a label. We might need that label in order to get the right treatment but once this has happened \u2013 drop it.<\/p>\n

I want you to know that not being held is a part of the problem which means that the solution to the problem is….. being held.<\/p>\n

The guy I saw all those years ago thought he couldn\u2019t be touched because he was disabled. Whilst I was rocking underneath the table all those years ago in the suicide prevention unit I thought everything had gone wrong. I felt better when I got treated and got laid (yes, seriously). The client felt better when he was touched sensually by a worker who happened to know what he was doing. It\u2019s all connected, just like our bodies, our moods and our chemistry.<\/p>\n

Mental health has many pitfalls and many solutions. Sometimes the solution doesn\u2019t come quickly \u2013 pun intended. Often we need someone else to point out the solution, or at the very least, help us to apply a short-term remedy that acts as a crutch until we can holistically heal. This is a controversial view to have within the therapeutic community but I really don\u2019t care. What I care about is \u2013 whatever works.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s what it\u2019s all about \u2013 this website, sex, sexual services, love, relationships…. and hugging.<\/p>\n

Fancy a hug? Arms wide open.<\/p>\n

This article is not to be taken for replacement for qualified medical advice. If you are currently experiencing a mental health crisis please see your medical practitioner as soon as possible.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u2013 a unique view of depression by Matt \u2013 service provider with the TLC Trust We all have mental health. Sometimes this can be good, sometimes mediocre and sometimes our Read More …<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-45","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.School-of-Sex.info\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/45","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.School-of-Sex.info\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.School-of-Sex.info\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.School-of-Sex.info\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.School-of-Sex.info\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=45"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.School-of-Sex.info\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/45\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":46,"href":"https:\/\/www.School-of-Sex.info\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/45\/revisions\/46"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.School-of-Sex.info\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=45"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}